Dallas: Does anyone want any of these Euro-Von-Tonic onion rings?
Generic Funyuns. They looked better than they tasted.
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558 quotes in this Browse library
Laurie: I have a hard time being classy or maybe it’s that I do have a lot of class, it’s just all 3rd class.
Bran: You can see pretty deep into someone's ear when they don't fight back.
Laurie: It smells like McDonald's. Ack.
Gene: It may smell bad, but it doesn't taste good.
Cameron: Why would I lie about my farts? I love them.
Cameron: Come get your money, it's made out of silver. God knows where I've been.
Cameron's version of Blood Money by Bon Jovi
Haylan: You think they're gonna kill him in the show the same way as the comic? If they do, it's gonna be like when Pikachu gave all those people seizures.
Dallas: Y'all don't need the fucking comedy channel. I got you covered.
Eric: Between yard eggs and ukuleles, my threshold of normal may be skewed.
Laurie: An Observation: Normally my air freshener thing in the laundry room behind the cat pan works really well. This morning, it smells like a cat shit under a fruit tree.
Gene: It’s just too bad heaven ain’t looking for big fucking dumb asses like George Bush.
Bran: A recipe is just a pattern for food.
Virginia: I had a Teams meeting the other day in here, and I totally forgot about Butt Sex in the dining room.
Cameron: I used to have a hamster, but he kept dying, so I got a trophy instead.
Haylan: You're SO unflexible. I've never seen someone so unflexible since Uncle Tex.
Haylan: I don't want to go through the park. They have the primates working in there today.
Dallas: He looks like Ickity Peabod.
Ichabod Crane.
Laurie: When you live with a Canadian, eventually you will get chocolate on your watch.
Bran: I don't really care about anything, but I'm happy about that. I have happathy.
Dallas: It's the kind of place where a scarecrow might come to life and murder people.
Cameron: She's not half as good as she is cute...and she's not even all that cute.
I think we were talking about Cruddy.
Cameron: I waked up and there was a monster in my room. He had hair all over him, he had red eyes and big teeth. He wanted to eat me. So I got my turd hammer and bang! bang! I hit him in the head. I killed that monster with my turd hammer.
Cameron telling me about a dream he had.
Haylan: That is so disgusting my soul is trying to fight out of my body.
Dallas: Damn it, I wish I was just as lazy as I used to be and I didn't give a shit.
Christina: I want to be cremated.
Bran: Okay, I will preheat the oven. What time do you get home?