Bran: That’s because all the white horses are still in bed. If I can find where those fuckers sleep, Imma set fire to their mattress
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Norah: These don't suffercate because they don't breathe.
Cameron: It's scary holding dead cock roaches ‘cause you don’t know when they’re going to come back to life.
Haylan: Sorry, a beard hair went up my nose and I thought it was a ghost.
Haylan: Is this just eat on Haylan day or something?
Dallas: I want to be just as shrimpy and crappy looking as I can be.
Laurie: I need a recumbent bike if I ever ride again. I can’t deal with all the falling over crap.
Bran: I can't believe he said the word bank without the word robbery following it. Lisa must be some kind of alien and she laid eggs in him or something.
Dallas: Norah, I see you've added lying to your list of skills in your resume.
Cameron: I'm a good Christmas investigator.
Cameron: There's a worm in my beer, I cry about my dear. There's a ear in my beer.
Cameron wrote a country song.
Haylan: These are so good, they're like vegetable candy.
Haylan loves Brussel Sprouts.
Dallas: He looks like someone shrunk Ben with a funny ray.
Re: Simon Bar Sinister Broussard's resemblance to Ben.
Haylan: If you find me dead later, it's because I ate the shrimp.
Laurie: I have discovered that, often, sewing goes much more smoothly when I do what I want rather than what they tell me.
Gene: You know, I’m not sure that old saying was right. I’m not sure that a boob in the hand is worth two in the bush. I’m pretty sure two in the bush is better.
Bran: Don’t worry, Joanne, your uselessness hasn’t been compromised.
Haylan: ...I wonder how many lives I have left...
Cameron: If it was really his final thought then he wouldn't be having a thought on tomorrow.
Haylan: Eating popcorn is just like eating crunchy air.
Haylan: I made him laugh up crackin’.
Dallas: Everything around here slams.
Laurie: Sometimes a pecker just needs lickin’.
On a walk with Blackie, & he suddenly stopped to lick himself.
Bran: I hold enough grudges for everyone. I am a Grudge Farmer. I breed and raise them.
Gene: They can put a dollop of whipped cream on that pile of shit but it's still not going to look appetizing to anyone.
About Fox News limiting the republican clown bus debates to the top 5 candidates at the moment.