Eric: Ice is basically disposable rocks.
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Cameron: Well, you know what they say, go big or go home and you're already home so that only leaves you one choice.
Cameron: You're about to reach the point of my rear end.
Haylan: Your beard smells like sunshine.
Dallas: They're high. They've been licking toads or something.
Dallas: I'm sitting in the dark and I can't see a thing, the fire dragons came and now they are gone. The ceiling fan's on and I'm getting quite cold. There's a fire in the pasture and the neighbors don't care. I'm sitting in the darkness in my underwear. Oh oh oh in the darkness. The fire just got bigger and the neighbors are burning. Now everybody's gone cause of my underwear.
Sometime in the early 90s. This was his song a la The Cure named Fire Dragons.
Gene: Do you want the Spanish subtitles on?
Ben Broussard: Yeah, but turn it up so I can tell you what the subtitles mean.
Bran: Some old asshole is getting a mother’s day gift. So you’ll have to help keep an eye out for UPS.
My first born uttered this to me.
Bran: Please look after cats. Will return when the bleak winter has passed. Send love to Aunt Ethel.
Cameron: I thought I was filling it up but I looked and there was like 75 cents worth of poop in there.
Haylan: Man, the other day there was all these bugs in the bath tub with me. It was weird.
Haylan: Oh man, I love them like kittens.
Re: Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies
Dallas: I'm really only interested in the ones I say.
Laurie: I've had to blow it out and grease it up twice in the last month...it's like having a frigid lover.
It was my sewing machine...
Bran: Hah, I just flicked a booger in the trash can at the same exact moment that someone down the row from me made a loud popping sound, so it sounded like I had a 90 pound death booger!
Bran: I wish Daddy would go ahead and get old and quit talking about it.
Norah: I'm going to take my backpack to school for Show Off.
Cameron: If seeing Halloween decorations the day after Halloween is going to give her an aneurysm, I say give her a fucking aneurysm.
Faedorah: What are you looking for?
Cameron: I don't know, but I sure know it's in this pile.
Haylan: $7.99 for 50 pounds? We should probably start eating deer corn.
Dallas: I spent two hours last night sweeping glitter off the floor. It made me think of you.
Dallas: You can always have too much, but you can never have enough.
Gene: In the beginning, a lack of knowledge and understanding never stopped any human being from making bold claims.
Bran: I am a hate pinata.
Eric: I will feel better if I just sit here and die.