Haylan: Nnnnoooooo why do you get all buffets? I get no buffets. I'll just eat my sad soup and cry into it instead of adding a can of water.
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558 quotes in this Browse library
Dallas: It's wonky AND it's wacky. It's a fucking chocolate factory.
Laurie: These people are willfully uninformed and maliciously ignorant.
Gene: He looks like an overgrown retard. That’s probably not the last time we’ll see him on the news.
Bran: I just can’t adapt myself to the damned fool common-man thinking.
Norah: They're not handcuffs. They're best friend chains.
Cameron: Just put beer drinking as his dominant feature.
Guess who?
Haylan: Oh, no, I just put my foot in the hot dog. That's how you know I'm white trash.
Haylan: I don't want to give massages when I grow up. Some big fat guy will say, you got nice hands, baby, come over here and gimme a French kiss.
Dallas: I was talking before you were born and I’m not done yet.
Laurie: Yep, she’s got one foot in the grave and the other is clubbin’ Crud.
Nard. Nardo. Leondardo. Monica Francis Leonardo. The Mama of every cat on this place.
Bran: I plead 3rd party status. I am a nonhuman entity who would like to see nothing better than either: The complete cooperation of mankind, OR the complete destruction of mankind. Preferably all at once (with either option).
Eric: Like having the comfort of a weighted blanket with the benefits of acupuncture.
Sounds like a cat, eh?
Cameron: Wild squirtles don't come with sunglasses
Cameron: Some popcorn has bones.
Haylan: Dear Butterfinger, I am very upset at my experience with one of the Butterfinger miniatures I was eating. I was partaking in the entire bag I just got from the local groceries Halloween candy isle when I open one and notice that something strange is already afoot with it. I pull the delicious chocolately candy out of it's wrapper and discover it is half the size it should be! Oh, it's just broken in half, that was all. I calmed myself a moment but then the horror struck me. Deep in my soul I felt the icy chill take over; my skin became riddled with goosebumps and a damp, clammy sweat took over my being. I felt a little dizzy in my brain, perhaps caused by disbelief, that to my astonishment, the other half of the broken Butterfinger simply was not there. Where did it go? What happened to it? I hope to hear from you regarding this detrimental experience and that you can locate the other half. Regards, Haylan Teel
Dallas: I'm pretty shit as a commercial artist. I have really radical ideas and I don't work well with others.
Norah: I can't put this in. My backpack is full.
Grampa: I can carry it, I have plenty of hands.
Norah: Ha. He only has 2 hands.
Norah whispered to me after her conversation with Gene.
Laurie: We could put this whole conversation in the quote file if it wasn't so insulting.
Gene: This whip has a little pencil on the end of it so I can take names while I’m kicking ass.
Bran: Kids don’t care how fast you’re going, it’s how loud your feet are.
Haylan: New Life Rule: If you are not allowed to drive or bathe yourself for 24 hours, you should not be calling the county tax office.
Cameron: If everyone thought with their mouths closed, we would never have gotten anywhere as a race, as a species, as a world.
Haylan: My voice + Babe's voice = Kermit's voice.
Haylan: There's been a slight case of death.