Haylan: Hear that? Your favorite thing is happening. She's laying a deuce.
Cat was scritchy scratching in the cat box.
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Cameron: Oh, I thought you were doing something else. You’re just eating some more of that smelly-assed shit.
Cameron was NOT impressed with Brandon Fontenot's snuff.
Haylan: I'd be such a good comedian if I had three hands.
Haylan: You better wait 30 minutes after he ate. He might get a cramp.
Houdini was Bran's big Savannah Monitor. He was about to get a bath.
Dallas: Seperatum of freedom and religion.
Laurie: If you’re going out in the dark and creepy, it’s better to have a big guy with you.
Bran: I see some of you are having Smarmalade sandwiches again this morning. Must be delicious to be so much better than the rest of us.
Eric: I should get a Memento Mori tattoo here, as a warning to hot dogs.
Dorothy: It's beautiful, but its difficult for my brain. My brain is saying 'Don't watch obstacle pollutions. Don't watch em.'
Almost-3-yr-old Dorothy's thoughts on optical illusions
Cameron: Float like a butterfly, sing like a bean.
Haylan: Oh my god, my eyes taste SO bad.
Eye drops after surgery.
Dallas: If someone goes to all the trouble to get another name, people should respect that.
Eric: Not to alarm you, but the oven is on fire.
Laurie: I'm going to say something scandalous here...I don't really CARE that Steve Jobs died.
Gene: It’s a bargain. It’s a really good meal at an exorbitant price
Bran: You get all those cheaters at the hotel and they just go wild. It’s like an all you eat buffet
Branden explains the Jerry Springer Show.
Haylan: It's like a dog park without dogs.
Referring to a sad throng of smokers standing out in the cold.
Cameron: No, I like to eat my yogurt in the closet, I didn't know you were looking for me.
I asked Cameron if he was hiding from me when he didn't answer me & I found him in the closet.
Haylan: I'm going to get you a giant vest made by the same company that makes thunder vests, it's going to be a separation vest filled with silverware.
Haylan: What he said really chipped my butt.
Dallas: It’s like Hick Fest ‘95.
Re: The festival in Huntsville, Texas at the Sam Houston Museum...Pioneer Days or something.
Laurie: I guess if you have to be stupid, it’s better to be beautiful.
Bran: Why nothing matters in life and everything is pointless: No matter how hard I work, or what I do with my life, I will never get to grow up and become Godzilla.
Bran: I don't think I can ever stop being mad that I was born too late to ride a dinosaur, and too early to drive a giant robot.
Cameron: When something smells like a banana, but is not a banana, it really bothers me.