Laurie: Some of y’all are just teeny weenie travel sized douche bags. You aren’t even good enough to be a full sized kit...so maybe you should just stop trying.
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Bran: When I sit down on my new mattress, it feels like angels are reaching up to cradle my butt in their mystical hands.
Dallas: I wanna go my house real bad. I want my Mama real bad.
'83 Less than 2 years old. He meant this from the bottom of his heart.
Cameron: I hate fat free cream cheese. It tastes like butt. It's like someone said I'll take something delicious and turn it into something awful.
Cameron: I don't need help, I need you.
Haylan: I don't ever remember getting taller, not in my whole life.
Dallas: In our house, even the lamps have bad teeth and dreadlocks.
Dallas: I like that peppermoanie.
Peppermoanie = pepperoni. Age 2.
Gene: I might need a nap. I don’t know. If I fall asleep, I need a nap.
Bran: When you don’t know what you’re doing, you never know how long it will take.
Norah: Look and watch.
Cameron: Only Gene could find a way to make a salad bad for you.
Haylan: Now I'm not as sleepy because I got excited about napping.
Haylan: How? How does this happen? What kind of huge fucking cougar do we have in here?
Dallas: Wait. Everybody's talking to me at once, and I have a small brain.
Laurie: One of these days, being stupid might not be as great as you think it is.
Laurie: Beggars can't be choosers.
Bran: It depends on how white they are.
Dallas: I don't know what I want but I don't want whatever y'all want me to have.
1987.
Cameron: Life is all about finding places you're comfortable to fart in.
Cameron: He only bloodied one forehead, but it was the only forehead he had.
Haylan: Right as I try to tickle you and start to feel better, you go and shit your pants.
Dallas: Carnival justice is quick and often wrong.
Dallas: Sometimes Spiderman swings by his peanut, that's what happens when Wonder Woman messes with him.
4 years old.
Gene: It’s like looking down the hole of an outhouse and picking out the best turd.
Looking at a list of republican candidates.
Bran: Just because you are good at swimming, does not mean that there are not sharks in the water.