Cameron: I'll go back there and I'll be Blind Fury with a stick.
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Haylan: My boob hurts. Justin Timberlake must have squeezed it too hard.
Dallas: I don't want your damned waffle sandwich crap.
Dallas: Call and tell Pam it's too late, we don't want her to come now, we already found something else to eat.
Gene: I want it to be automagic.
Bran: This is a miracle dog. He walks through the wind and into your heart.
Regarding: Blackie.
Laurie: They're speculating that you and Gene are related.
Eric: Oh, dang, if that's true Gene & I can never get married.
Cameron: Shit creek actually isn't so bad.
Haylan: I'm just growing my hair out til its long enough I can wear this sweater without the stain showing.
Haylan: What I need is a hipper with a zoodie.
And a hoodie with a zipper.
Dallas: That damn squirrel is still a hooligan! He put his ears back and chuckled at me. Have you ever heard a squirrel chuckle? It's humiliating. Little fucking prima donna midget.
Talking in his sleep.
Laurie: I hope I can muster a next time. My fat disgusting thighs are crying like a baby with shit pants.
Bran: Sometimes, on a bad day, I buy those, and then eat them in the car outside of HEB "so they won't melt". I really need adult supervision because this is not going well.
Re: A whole box of ice cream sandwiches.
Bran: Haylan doesn’t need a Kleenex. She’s an animal.
Laurie: Am I darker than you?
Charlene: A corpse is darker than me.
Cameron: Donald Trump reminds me of my fingers after eating a bunch of Cheetos.
Cameron: When Batman threw down his kinda sharp thing, it killed the alligator.
Haylan: Your colon is like the inside of a 1969 Dairy Queen bathroom right after the circus came through.
Haylan: I take mecidine?
About 1.5 years old.
Dallas: They are my own kind--they're human beings.
In response to You Know Who, who asked him why he didn’t play with his ‘own kind’ instead of the bi-racial children next door.
Gene: I defy any of you to eat all that watermelon. You will die of watermelon poisoning.
Bran: Creepy old organ music is awesome. Let’s hear your creepy old organ music. The only creepy old organ you have is your mouth.
Again, to me. I think this could have been more insulting, I guess I’m lucky.
Eric: I don't need to be a psychopath, I CHOOSE to be.
He was eating his pizza with a knife & fork.
Cameron: That song is full of a bunch of lyrics.
Haylan: Look, all I need is all this stuff.
Haylan at the craft store.