Haylan: Is this just eat on Haylan day or something?
A fresh look through the quote file
Browse public quotes
Rediscover quotes people have chosen to make public.
558 quotes in this Browse library
Dallas: I want to be just as shrimpy and crappy looking as I can be.
Laurie: I need a recumbent bike if I ever ride again. I can’t deal with all the falling over crap.
Bran: I can't believe he said the word bank without the word robbery following it. Lisa must be some kind of alien and she laid eggs in him or something.
Dallas: Norah, I see you've added lying to your list of skills in your resume.
Cameron: I'm a good Christmas investigator.
Cameron: There's a worm in my beer, I cry about my dear. There's a ear in my beer.
Cameron wrote a country song.
Haylan: These are so good, they're like vegetable candy.
Haylan loves Brussel Sprouts.
Dallas: He looks like someone shrunk Ben with a funny ray.
Re: Simon Bar Sinister Broussard's resemblance to Ben.
Haylan: If you find me dead later, it's because I ate the shrimp.
Laurie: I have discovered that, often, sewing goes much more smoothly when I do what I want rather than what they tell me.
Gene: You know, I’m not sure that old saying was right. I’m not sure that a boob in the hand is worth two in the bush. I’m pretty sure two in the bush is better.
Bran: Don’t worry, Joanne, your uselessness hasn’t been compromised.
Haylan: ...I wonder how many lives I have left...
Cameron: If it was really his final thought then he wouldn't be having a thought on tomorrow.
Haylan: Eating popcorn is just like eating crunchy air.
Haylan: I made him laugh up crackin’.
Dallas: Everything around here slams.
Laurie: Sometimes a pecker just needs lickin’.
On a walk with Blackie, & he suddenly stopped to lick himself.
Bran: I hold enough grudges for everyone. I am a Grudge Farmer. I breed and raise them.
Gene: They can put a dollop of whipped cream on that pile of shit but it's still not going to look appetizing to anyone.
About Fox News limiting the republican clown bus debates to the top 5 candidates at the moment.
Cameron: Happy holidays, everyone. If that offends you then go fuck yourself.
Cameron: I want it to get back to real.
Haylan: For your birthday I have placed a small box under your bed as a present. It's filled with spiders and a small cobra. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday wishes to Stewart from Haylan.
Dallas: We made Stewart use the auto tune last night. He wasn't having it. It was like putting a cat in water.