Cameron: Shit creek actually isn't so bad.
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Haylan: I'm just growing my hair out til its long enough I can wear this sweater without the stain showing.
Haylan: What I need is a hipper with a zoodie.
And a hoodie with a zipper.
Dallas: That damn squirrel is still a hooligan! He put his ears back and chuckled at me. Have you ever heard a squirrel chuckle? It's humiliating. Little fucking prima donna midget.
Talking in his sleep.
Laurie: I hope I can muster a next time. My fat disgusting thighs are crying like a baby with shit pants.
Bran: Sometimes, on a bad day, I buy those, and then eat them in the car outside of HEB "so they won't melt". I really need adult supervision because this is not going well.
Re: A whole box of ice cream sandwiches.
Bran: Haylan doesn’t need a Kleenex. She’s an animal.
Laurie: Am I darker than you?
Charlene: A corpse is darker than me.
Cameron: Donald Trump reminds me of my fingers after eating a bunch of Cheetos.
Cameron: When Batman threw down his kinda sharp thing, it killed the alligator.
Haylan: Your colon is like the inside of a 1969 Dairy Queen bathroom right after the circus came through.
Haylan: I take mecidine?
About 1.5 years old.
Dallas: They are my own kind--they're human beings.
In response to You Know Who, who asked him why he didn’t play with his ‘own kind’ instead of the bi-racial children next door.
Gene: I defy any of you to eat all that watermelon. You will die of watermelon poisoning.
Bran: Creepy old organ music is awesome. Let’s hear your creepy old organ music. The only creepy old organ you have is your mouth.
Again, to me. I think this could have been more insulting, I guess I’m lucky.
Eric: I don't need to be a psychopath, I CHOOSE to be.
He was eating his pizza with a knife & fork.
Cameron: That song is full of a bunch of lyrics.
Haylan: Look, all I need is all this stuff.
Haylan at the craft store.
Haylan: Here I was, in here learning, and then you guys show up and make me laugh and now my lip is bleeding.
Dallas: Protesting to change the system is like jerking off to have a baby. It ain't gonna happen on sentiment.
Laurie: I don't want to go to a nursing home in my old age...when I get old, I want the abuse to be dished out by my own family.
Bran: Ugh! My allergies are too bad today, I am considering pulling a Vinnie Van Gogh on my nose.
Bran: That’s why Hayden said it, with a big grin in his eye.
Laurie: We just crossed the border.
Sandy: Great. You are safely out of the country, so dump the body and come on back home.
Cameron: Sometimes I wonder how many Reese's minis I could eat if I didn't have to unwrap them individually.