Cameron: I'm not sure if you made my day or gave me diabetes.
A fresh look through the quote file
Browse public quotes
Rediscover quotes people have chosen to make public.
558 quotes in this Browse library
Cameron: Flying dogs are dangerous.
Haylan: I love Eric. It's like watching a 2x4 dance!
Haylan: I do it myself, me.
Between 1 & 2 years old.
Dallas: Someday, I'm going to come in here and vomit all over the apples.
Gene: Always the bride groom, never the bride.
Gene does a little gender bending.
Bran: I don’t know how I manage to summon up everyone on earth who was raised by wolves. It’s like I have received this assignment from The Good Lord. McBobbin’s Wolf Girl Catch and Release Program: A Finishing School for Wayward Souls.
Jessica Teseny: I will never forget the time Cameron kept shaking his weenie at me while I was minding my own business, eating my sandwich
2011
Cameron: Oh, you're hiccuping? I thought you were hitting a bag of rabbits up against a tree.
Cameron: Mama, what about Cuba?
He wasn't even 2 years old yet.
Haylan: And I swear on my grave I am friggin going to the beach this weekend if I have to kill Santa Claus.
Dallas: We don't even need to learn how to read, we'll just get a picture bible.
Satirizing the over Christian-ized, under funded education system in Texas & other parts of the USA.
Laurie: Our neighbors are all conspiring against us. The Martins, The Tuckers and The Gages all mowed their yards. Now, ours looks like the hairy alcoholic brother.
Bran: You are a diabolical mastermind and quite possibly insane. I love it.
He said this to me about a book I wrote.
Bran: You know the difference between monkeys and people? Monkeys don’t know how to be careful.
Eric: Psoriasis sounds like a tasty cheese.
Eric: Someone pooped in the bathtub, and it wasn't me.
Cameron: I’m just sitting here with my love arrow between my legs.
He was playing Cupid.
Haylan: I feel like I'm laying here, and my brain is attached to my eyes with doublesided tape and they're floating. You don't know that feeling? It's like womwomwomw omwomwom".
Haylan took Benadryl.
Haylan: Mama, he's lipping behind your back.
Dallas: Nana's got more wisdom than all of us put together. She just can't remember none of it.
Gene: You're the meat in an idiot sandwich.
Bran: I smell amazing. I’m going to ask myself out on a date
Bran: Jesus Fookin' Christ. Splendid threw up and Hasil ran to eat it. He thinks she's a goddamn wet food dispenser.
Cameron: I only lick the armpits of people I love.
I told him Cruddy was trying to lick my pits.