Cameron: We can all be turds.
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Cameron: The sun came up, the blood came up, the orange juice was in my glass.
Haylan: I mean, I'll follow the rules, but people don't understand how malleable the rules are.
Dallas: I fucking hate Netflix. I swear if I ever become a fucking suicide bomber, I'm going to go after Netflix.
Dallas: Mama, Mama, I fade the dog some gum!
3 years old.
Gene: Are those gum balls? If could be bad if they’re not because sooner or later someone will try to eat one. Probably me.
Bran: The original social media site: Fireplace. The whole family would gather around Fireplace and share their updates.
Cameron: He thinks that's his last name: Pippin He'ssocute.
Cameron: A bunch of people I don't know couldn't make me cry with words.
Haylan: I have the heart of a vegetarian, but no self control.
Haylan: Of all the things I type, I'm the worst at typing my name. It's just a bunch of A's and crazy letters you don't use very often.
Dallas: I went to see "The Passions of Christ” and it wasn't very good or amusing or anything
Laurie: Well, I have a hang nail, so I guess it’s time for me to quit moving stuff.
Bran: Humanity is just a bunch of confused, angry apes scrabbling to see who can sit on the top of the big rock for the longest.
Dallas: Mama, Baby Haylan cywin.
Age 2, 1984.
Cameron: I want to do a TBT but I can't remember which pictures were taken on a Thursday.
Cameron: I love my money.
Haylan: It's funny when I really have to ask the genuine question to myself, do you want to be faceless or just have no lips.
Dallas: The troubles aren't over just because you would rather watch tv than throw stones.
Dallas: Mama, did you see those cocoa puffs on that rock?
It was actually rabbit poop on a grave stone. 4 years old.
Gene: Gypsies are idiots.
Bran: She thought she could AOE CC them and then ninja loot.
About a Black Friday shopper who pepper sprayed her fellow shoppers.
Laurie: Do you need to go to the bathroom?
Norah: No, I was just farting in your face.
Cameron: Cant sleep, clowns will eat me. Or maybe i just had too many caramel apple pops.
Haylan: Some things that are annoying are also funny, that's why I married you.