Eric: I'm glad you're alive so you can pretend to be dead.
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558 quotes in this Browse library
Cameron: I think Lost made me not nervous about flying because if we go down I'm going to be thinking 'magicalisland magicalisland magicalisland'.
Haylan: I was sitting around thinking about owls and I've had a Harry Potter revelation! It has nothing to do with owls, though.
Haylan: If the sound of silence is a ceiling fan to you, you've been living in suburbia too fucking long.
Dallas: I was dragged into this weird fetish shop with Roxc cos she got a half day. I made the mistake of wearing my leather jacket and motorcycle boots and this funny hat but in this place it makes me look like a gay leather-daddy.
Laurie: I have determined, from looking at myself sideways in the mirror as I run past on my way out of the bathroom, that I look somewhat like a bowling ball with little skinny legs.
Like the ball in the Strolling Bowling game in the 80s. Branden had one.
Bran: Ida Know's my best friend. She drinks my milk, coughs on my dinner and eats my blanket.
He was 4 years old.
Bran: Buy a dildo, bitch. They don’t argue.
To a woman driving past who was fighting with her boyfriend/husband.
Eric: He had grey hair in the 80s....and that was 20 years ago.
Eric: It was easier to get jesus to raise from the dead than it was to wake me up in the morning
Cameron: I like it when you get your butt really hot and you sit down and it burns your ass.
Haylan: Your confidence in me is startling. And completely misled.
No, it isn't.
Haylan: Mama, how do you spell sevening? You know, like 'the sevening?
Dallas: Yeah, Bill! I love Bill! I wish he could still live with us.
Bill was an AC repairman that wasn’t very good at his job & he practically lived with us a few summers before this, & never did fix our AC.
Gene: Come on, people, what shade of green are you waiting for?
At a traffic light.
Bran: I can’t believe I just said the words “butt hole balm” and Evan didn’t suddenly appear.
Eric: Found a 75 hour biography of Mark Twain...See ya on the other side.
Cameron: May your birthday be filled with candy from strange pockets
Birthday wishes to Maggie.
Cameron: I'm not a witch, I'm a starecrow.
Haylan: Gosh, someone needs to take out his battery.
Dallas: You cannot look too close at a bearded lady. If you value your asshole, you cannot look too close at a bearded lady.
Laurie: What the hell? One of you guys stinks. One of you has taken a shit in your little furry pants.
Blackie & Cruddy...someone farted.
Gene: Operation Border Escort.
Bran: Danny never got naked with the kids unless he was up to something real bad.
Bran: Dreams are a really weird and convoluted way to just go ahead and hurt your own feelings.